I have generally been uncomfortable about this attitude of targetting branding men as “evil”, “enemy” etc., in the name of either “feminism” or “helping” women to overcome misfortune. (Just like I’m uncomfortable with other ways of stereotyping as well)
There’s the Blank Noise project that aims to condemn and speak out against street harrasment of women – a noble goal, that I endorse. It recently had a blogathon.
Some of the entries in it, and the anger in their comments were rather overboard. With people saying they were either ashamed of being men, or that all men are “evil”.
Roobish, as Geoff Boycott would say.
The anger it shows reminds me of the the scene in “what women what”, when Mel Gibson has just discovered he can hear women’s thoughts – and approaches this arab/muslim woman only to find a volley of abuse (in whatever language).
Sure, go ahead give it as good or worse to the molesters, but what does about the man who got it when he wasnt intending to do it? He is human too, isnt he? Here’s Vulturo’s post on personal space and the blank noise project.
Here’s another toungue-in-cheek take that goes bibiji-zyara-dheere-maro!(GreatBong, of course)
excerpts:
Noone enjoys getting groped and my argument is not there—-it’s about why feminists have to make even decent men, who may steal a glance or two, feel like a serial rapist who has “defiled their soul� by virtue of their glances. The contention that looks leave scars on a womans mind is , well, overstating the case.
and
The second point I wish to make is…in all the posts on sexual harassment raging on in the desi blogosphere there is one group of people who everyone has forgotten. Men. Why is it that whenever a girl says that someone is “looking at her� , people go “Chi chi ghar main ma bahen nahin hain?� while when a man says that a girl is looking at him lasciviously, everyone (girls and boys) start laughing.
What do you think?
Update: Decided to take a deeper look at it. Apparently looking is a crime as well. Look at a woman, and wham-bham. “molester”! If you’re among the luckier lot, you get photographed as well. Oh lookie here, who’s looking?
[...] It’s a rising problem in India? What about the rest of the world? Agreed that Wikipedia points out that the sources are NOT cited, but it’s still a black mark, a taint, a stigma that Indians have to bear! That kinda made me think! I wasn’t exactly giving the “problems” that Indian women face too much thought! Yes, I did read Div’s thoughts! Yes, I read through sukhi’s point of view as well! But, never did it register onto me that men are branded in general as “filthy pigs” for the wont of a better word!! People generally see us as “molesters” and “criminals” [Yes, eve-teasing is a crime that can be punished]! [...]
By: Ramblings of an Eccentric Soul » Blog Archive » Foregone Conclusions… on March 20, 2006
at 3:04 pm
Aaah… see your getting caught in grey areas and perceptions….
This is not about men needing to feel as if their looking at girls was wrong.This is about being groped, spoken to vulgarly, pinched, physically abused in public! I don’t know a single girl in blanknoise b’lore who even reacts to “looks” now… me especially. Infact even a touch in a crowded place can be pretty hard to determine as one with a bad intent.. we do have internal censors .. we don’t relish calling attention to ourselves to share with a buncha strangers that we were groped in all the wrong places..
Frankly i didn’t get the comments from men saying they were ashamed to be “men” either… but where are you picking up “all men are evil” from… blank noise doesn’t say that.. anywhere.. like I said men wouldn’t be a part of it if we made such dumb blanket statements
I read vulturo’s post before. And I agreed with it to the extent that women do overreact … but you (and I mean you guys..men) can actually have no conception of the trauma we go through when we are harassed. The disproportionate response some women have to a normal guy is because of the lack of support/help in dealing with the trauma… they just been sort of dragging this huge baggage of trauma which they bonk on the head of anybody they percieve as coming close to their idea of a perpetrator. Hopefully with time and help from orgs like blank noise they will know how to deal with it in a healthy way and deal with men in general with more sense of security.
I dunno why I end up leaving these loooong comments on your blog. Apologies for rambling on..
By: sou on May 24, 2006
at 4:24 pm
Aaah… see your getting caught in grey areas and perceptions….
you can help me get out of it then, cant ya?
I dunno about now, but I did see posts on the blogathon – and comments that went on the lines of “all men are evil”, or “men are evil until proven otherwise”. Oh and some men did agree with it, btw – so I dont see why men would not be part of it.
Maybe not explicitly on the blanknoise blog, but definitely in the blogathons and the posts it endorsed. As you can see, I have specifically mentioned the blogathon.
And what I mention in the update – I picked it up from the blank noise blog itself – you can check it out yourself.
you’re right, most men wouldnt know. But that doesnt mean women need to respond, as you say, disproportionately to normal men.
yes, hopefully, folks will learn to handle the baggage, and also not to traumatise.
well, I could always trim those comments for ya – WP does allow me to edit comments!
By: sukhi on May 24, 2006
at 5:44 pm